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A SONG OF SELFHOOD

Sunny days when naked on a street,
Dancing till I swell up my feet.
Didn’t feel crazy till the world
Threw ice and a bucket at me.

Singing verses off of bushes and trees
Crying whenever I bruised my knees
Respecting life became obsolete suddenly
Poetry, warmth and imagination were slapped out of me.

Not a childhood story,
Or a fictitious allegory,
It is the honesty that was hidden
In my hollow head.

The adrenaline rush when I see a puppy,
Walked away, thinking about how dogs are lucky,
Listened to four tires screech

Looking back to see a four pawed corpse of destiny.

Vigorously wanting to win hearts,
With light humour and jokes on farts.
Burying the bitterness in my bones,
When someone else does it better.

Importance, ideals and insecurity,
The last ‘I’ getting a hold of me.
Rubbing my face with smoke,
After burning in a fire of jealousy.

Slowly ebbing away from all emotion,
Steadily drowning my hopes in an ocean
While I push the others to climb mountains
And not look back, in case I’d disappeared.

A brain with nill creativity,
Wants to labelled smart and witty.
Self confidence? Oh what a joke,
I’m too afraid to even be honest on my own.

With cold water of the ice dripping down my thigh,
Making my body forever too dry.
Sanctifying me from the fallacy,
That fills my lungs with soot every night.

Can’t wake up, don’t want to,
My soaked thighs weigh me down too
Along with this head of mine,
Tying my heart in a noose of lies.

There used to be good days and bad ones,
Collecting people that the world normally shuns.

Now it’s just bad days and good hours,
The numbered ones that don’t let me think too much.

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5 Comments

  1. Tanya Kainaat

    Such beautiful play on words. Hats off to the poet.

  2. Mfs

    Good

  3. My god, I cannot think of what hit me the hardest. This is just too honest and real ???. I can’t imagine what you’re going through at all ??. Please forgive me ????

  4. anshika

    very well written ??

  5. Subiya Fatima

    Loved this.